Annie

This blog was difficult for me to write and it took me a long time to decide whether or not to actually post it. In fact, I'd made the decision not to, but then something happened yesterday that changed my mind. I must warn you, this post is deeply personal and borders on TMI. I won’t apologize for that. The reality is that it’s probably more for me than for you, but if you keep reading, remember, you were warned.

You see, very recently a dear friend was killed in a car accident. Her name was Annie. In reality, she was so much more than a friend. I was head-over-heels in love with her. We’d been dating for almost a year and she was a very special person in my life.

As a single father of four amazing kids, it had been difficult to date again. After a failed marriage of almost fifteen years which ended in a cloud of betrayal, my self-worth was non-existent. My life had been turned upside down in a flash and my situation had gone from what I’d always wanted, to flat-out depressing. Without going into a pitty party, let’s just say I was at the lowest I’ve ever been in my life.

Picture courtesy of J K Broadwell

A long year later, I met Annie. She was full of life, a perfect balance of fun and reality, and a person who made everything better just with her presence. She was someone who told you what she thought and didn’t sugarcoat anything, yet had an unbelievable ability to make you feel as though you were the most important person in the entire world. She was beautiful inside and out and I instantly fell in love with her.

In time, she was introduced to my children. They also fell prey to her infectious personality and almost overnight, she became an incredibly important person to them as well. She was at any and all sporting events, dance competitions or recitals and loved them unconditionally. Annie was the kind of person who made you feel special on an everyday basis, always doing the little things to make sure you knew how much she loved you.

Picture courtesy of J K Broadwell

I could go on and on about the kind of person Annie was but I’d never be able to do her justice. No, she wasn’t perfect but she was pretty darn close. An example of her unselfishness was one of her final acts here on earth. Two days before her death, she excitedly told me that she’d just made arrangements to pay a large percentage of a church mission for a young man who wanted to go but couldn’t afford it. It was a lot of money but she was so thrilled to pay for something she believed in so much. Annie was the happiest when she was serving others.

And then there was yesterday. See, my birthday was three days ago. Well, yesterday when I got home, I found a package on my doorstep. The name on it was Annie though the address was mine. When I opened it, I found that it was a birthday present she'd ordered for me weeks ago. It was an Atlanta Falcons t-shirt (my favorite football team). There was also a personalized message on the shipping slip that said, "Hey Babe, I know you'd never actually buy anything for yourself so I have to do it for you. Just say thanks and enjoy. Happy Birthday. Love you always, Annie." Of course, this was an extremely emotional experience that I won't go into detail about. I will say that it was precious to me. Annie had mentioned a few weeks prior that she'd bought something for me but I'd forgotten all about it after her death. 

Photo courtesy of J K Broadwell

Receiving that package was a bitter sweet experience. Annie's gone and she still found a way to make me feel loved. Yesterday was a reminder of the beautiful person who is no longer in my life, however I wouldn't trade it for anything. Leave it to Annie to find a way to comfort me and make me smile even after her death.    

I don’t know why she was taken from this world but I take comfort in the knowledge that I’ll see her again. I believe she was put into my life and the lives of my children at the time when we needed her most. Yes, I wish things had ended differently. I wish she was still a phone call away. I wish I could still kiss her and wrap my arms around her. I miss her insights and advice (Lord knows, I need them). Annie was wise beyond her years and always offered a completely different perspective from my own (yes, she was usually right).

I’m sure many of you have known people that you felt were placed in your life at precisely the right time. Hopefully, they weren’t taken away from you. Perhaps they either faded when they were no longer needed, or better yet, maybe they’re still in your life. I’d love to hear about those special people in your life and how they affected it.

Have you ever had someone love and accept you unconditionally? Ever had a person in your life who had complete faith and confidence in you? Someone who made you feel as though you could do anything just by looking at you? If so then you've had your own personal "Annie" in your life. If you'd like, please tell me about them. People like that need to be shared. 

I do know I’m a better person for having known Annie. She restored my belief in many things including myself. She made me a better father and friend and allowed me to love again. I’ll always be grateful to her and to the Lord for blessing my life with her, even if it was only for a short time.

Annie will be missed by many, but my children and I will always have a special place in our hearts for her.

 

Picture courtesy of J K Broadwell

 

In the immortal words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Until next time…